Which Way to the Beach?

So I've been in the Great White North for nearly a month now. So far I've learned quite a few things; like--

I am not built for cold climates.

The metric system is confusing, once you get into minus temperatures, it makes no sense.

You cannot leave wine in the car and then go to yoga....it will freeze.

You cannot leave the house with wet hair. (something I do all the time back home, I never use a hairdryer) Well, if you do, your hair will freeze and break off.....fun stuff.

Ice is effing slippery.

Taboganning is not the same as surfing on snow.

Americans are rude as all hell. I thought I was pretty polite until I moved here. (we say, "huh" or "what", they say "pardon?")

The hot sauce selection is God awful here. Send me Tapatio and Pedros tacos hot sauce please!

Layers your clothes, then when you think you have enough-- add two more layers.

Hockey is as big here as it is made out to be in stereotypes.

Yes Canadians are that nice.

Ketchup chips are bomb....so is poutine.

If you took California Mexican food recipes and took it to Toronto, you'd make a killing.

You will get laughed at if you call it a beanie.

You will also get laughed at for saying; dude, gnarly, bitchin', rad, or bro.

You drink unhealthy amounts of coffee to stay warm.

You also cannot leave your makeup in the car, that will freeze. Bye bye favorite lip stain.

Two words: Neil Young.

As an American, you cannot tell if a guy is flirting with you or just being a friendly Canadian....infuriating.

Wear a Dodgers hat to see just how nice Canadians are....the worst "insult" I got was a guy yelling "Go Jays!".

Working out with a space heater is confusing.

Milk in a bag is freaking weird.

The most common question I've gotten: "You moved here from California? Why?" or "Do you live next door to anyone famous?"

Craft beer is huge in Ontario---for that I am thankful.

If your beer gets cold, stick it in the snow for a few minutes.

I now feel normal for putting ketchup on Mac n Cheese...thanks mom.

Everyday I'm shovelin'

Walmart here is way cooler than in the US....feels more like a Target.

I miss target.

and rainbow sandals

and the beach

BUT...hockey. So that makes up for a lot.

Also, REAL cuban cigars....the shit.

No matter what everyone here says......Toronto traffic is NOT worse than SoCal. Case closed.

I'm cold, but I'm having a blast. This is definitely an adventure. It is nice to not have to tone down the hockey talk, I feel out of my element but at home at the same time. It is a weird emotion to try and grasp. Last weekend I went to Tampa for the NHL All-Star game, and the weather was such a tease. By the way, you all suck for sending me your beach pictures in January. I packed all my bikinis and have no use for them!

#canada #beachbum #beach #ontario #toronto #canadian #american #migratingbeachbum