Anxiety Is No Joke

Man, do we ever do the best that we can when it comes to our kids! The sleepless nights are a given, the tears for no reason are expected, I mean, if I'm getting real, the bodily fluids you have to clean up in the middle of the night; just real talk here. However, what I'm learning as each one of my girls develops more and more into the fantastic humans they are becoming, I find that it's almost more difficult to keep up. Do you ever feel this way?

I wanted to take a real moment to bring up the issue of anxiety and children. I feel like there is an anxiety that can just sort of be chalked up to nervousness or even shyness. I mean, we all fear the unknown and the what's-to-come. When you're a child though, perhaps without the language to say to someone, "you don't understand, I cannot do what you're asking me to do because for some reason it scares me and makes me uncomfortable," that's when we as parents have to try even harder to read between the tantrums and unreasonable tears. To us, it can be an annoyance, actions they put forth that keep us from going to bed at a decent hour or getting to our fitness class on time. But what if they had the adult vocabulary to tell us all that's on their minds? What if we learned to listen with a different ear, the ear of a kiddo?

My 11 year old little Charlotte is a mighty force to be reckoned with. Her fierce blue eyes and her intense quick wit will cut to your very soul. This kid refuses to be ignored, cannot stand to be alone for very long and simply MUST be stimulated at all times. I celebrate all of these qualities in her, she is truly my princess. However, over the last few years, I've noticed there was a growing anxiety that I could not put my finger on. Sure, if you were to look back at the bigger, overall picture, you would see a divorce, living at two different homes, a new marriage, a new sibling in her life, there has been a lot going on. But there was something more, something I could not quite put my finger on. What was causing this anxiety in my little girl? How much of it was real and how much was simply in her head? Well, my answer to that would be, it's all real to her, therefore, I should never doubt or discount her feelings. I learned that when she wants to sleep with the light on, it was more than the comfort of the soft glow of the entry hall chandelier. To her it was a sign that all was well, and no bad dreams could get to her if it wasn't completely dark. When she has to have a certain number of things with her, if even heading to the grocery store, I saw a kid who was worried of where that day was going to take her, be it all the changes of scenery she must go through week in and week out. So, I just started letting her bring her comfort pieces with her learning that this kiddo thrives off true consistency. She loves ones space that does not change.

All of this to say, I learned, as her mom, that if I can help her to feel secure AND teach her the ways to walk through the anxiety to the other side, I can help her produce actual, tangible confidence. So, I try my best to find outlets for her. For her, that would be all things dance and acting. If she could live on a stage, she would. She thrives off of it in fact. I do my best to also not avoid the situations that give her these anxieties. Instead, I try to be there with her through them, showing her what it looks like to be on the other side of them. It could also be that there might be these traits that stay with her, so I am trying, not winning every time, to not really eliminate her anxieties rather I try to help her manage them. Like I said, I win some battles, I lose some, but I hope that in the end she can look back and remember that mommy tried. She sure tried and I learned a lot from her! She allowed me the space to really figure out what works for Charlotte and no one else.

To all the mamas out there doing their best every day, day in and day out, this is your shout out. Keep up the amazing work and never forget that even on your worst days, your kids will know you love them, and seriously if that is not the most important thing in the world then I don't know what is.

***** If your child truly struggles with anxiety, I urge you to maybe seek professional help, as this blog post was my experience and not always suited to all families. We all want what's best for each other!*****

#anxietykidseducation #kids #coping